Monday, September 18, 2006

. . .

*Abby sits at dining room table looking at garlic powder bottle...*
*picks up and opens*
"ooooooooohh!!!!! BANANA SWIRL!!!!!!"
"worlds biggest sniff*
*Makes horrid face*
*cough* *choke*
*sputter* *cough*
*gag* *die*
*falls on floor*

*meanwhile....*
Hannah and I DIE laughing...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

You Know You're Addicted to Lord of the Rings When ...

. . .

You start quoting from the movie as part of regular conversation.
(I do this half the time)


You like to tell your mom that you are hungry by quoting: "Merry, I'm hungry."
(I have done this before)

She used to just laugh, but now she says, "What would you like to eat, Pippin?"

You continually ask your parents for second breakfast.
(have done before)

All the staff at your local cinema knows you by your first name and even before you open your mouth to speak, they say "Ticket for 'Fellowship of The Ring?'"

You hate Burger King food, but you ate nothing else for a month to get the toys.

You've crammed up your computer's memory by downloading every single screensaver from www.LordoftheRings.net

You wander around the house in a knee length nightie, pajama trousers and an unfastened dressing gown (to give you a train). You are trying to be an elf, and actually manage to forget that the nightie is blue with dolphins, the trousers have teddies on and the dressing gown is tartan.
(no...but it sounds like something i'd do if i got bored enough)

Your Lord of the Rings shirt has not yet met the washing machine.
(ewwwwwww that's just disgusting!)


You don't have enough money to buy groceries for the next week before payday, yet you charge $50 on your credit card to get a three year charter membership in the official LOTR fan club. Who needs food anyway?

You refer to parts of your town as parts of Middle-Earth.

You wear hobbitish clothing as part of your normal wardrobe.

You sometimes let your hair go curly after a wash, and then run around the house in bare feet yelling "I'm a hobbit!"
(haha no, but that would be fun...besides, my hair doesnt go curly...at all)

You hate it when Elves are only thought of as 'Santa's little helpers' and have tried to explain the difference between Santa-elves and Sidarin Elves to your 5-year old cousins.
(no, but i do hate it when they're only associated with santa)

You speak in Quenya just to annoy your friends.

You refer to regular elephants as oliphaunts.
(YES!)

While buttering a piece of bread, you suddenly think of Bilbo (remember when he was talking to Gandalf about feeling tired) saying that he felt 'like butter spread over too much bread.'
(ALL the time!)

You renamed your car the Wraith-mobile.

You have a replica of The One Ring.
(....from Monopoly)

You are beginning to resemble a panda due to the fact that you've stayed up until 2 am reading and re-reading the great books.

You actually managed to read the Silmarillion without being tempted to give up on this whole middle earth malarkey.
(i gave up after five minutes

You now have a lifetime fear of black horses!

You haven't removed the soundtrack from your CD player since you bought it.

You have sssudenly developed a hisssing lisssp every time you sssay the letter ssss.
(occasionally)

You have looked both on the net and in the phone book to see if archery and sword fighting lessons are offered in your area.

You have begun calling your husband / wife / girlfriend/ boyfriend / animal or kid my precioussss.
(have done before...siblings and pets)

You happily traveled over an hour to the next town to see "it" because that theater has a better sound system than the one 5 minutes down the road.

You have called every theatrical or specialty makeup company in town looking for pointy ear or hairy feet prosthetics.
Or posters...

You've worn your plastic "one ring" that came on your Legolas bookmark so much the gold is completely worn off.
(my Monopoly one isnt really gold anymore...)

You've begun drafting a letter to the Webster's dictionary people requesting that they include "Ringers" in their next edition.
I have added the MiddleEarth Language into my PC.

At Christmas time relatives find you chatting with the tree and sharing eggnog draughts

Single ads with the description," short plump and big hairy feet" seem much more appealing.

You know The LoTR history better then your family history.
(most of the time)

You have a mouse named Frodo, a bird named Gollum, and a dog named Gandalf. And that cat that keeps coming around to be petted is Legolas.
(haha! too many animals to name like that)

You know Elvish better then English.

Whenever something goes wrong, it's Sauron's fault.
(occasionally)

When you sing in the shower, it's always about Gil-Galad or hobbit walking songs...

You know everything about Middle Earth geography, but you can't get someone from your house to the ice cream parlor. Now the nearest movie theater, that is a different story.

You think the names of the 7 dwarves from Snow White are: Gimli, Gloin, Thorin, Fili, Kili, Ori, and Bambour.
(yes)

You have developed your own special Tolkien handwriting. "A firm, flowing script..."

Words like "Yrch" make sense to you.
(yrrp)

You've become strangely obsessed with mushrooms.
(no, but everytime i hear the word "shortcut" i say "TO MUSHROOMS!"

Whenever you close a door, you say "They have a cave troll!"
(yes!)

When you come to a dead end you're still convinced that the road goes ever on and on.
(yes)

There's a sign on your door saying "Speak Friend and enter!"
(I did. And it was in elvish!)

Whenever you get a chance, you burst into song. Preferably one that has more than 20 verses.

You change your name by deed poll to a Tolkien character and seriously consider naming your children after LOTR characters.

Every time you see birds in the sky you have the urge to say "Fly you fools!"
(YES! And "Crabain, from Dunland!")

When someone knocks on your door you grab them, pull them inside and ask "Are you frightened?... Not nearly frightened enough!"
(i have done this before)

Your computer's screensaver is a marquee reading, "Ennyn Durin atan Moria: pedo mellon a mino" and the password is actually "mellon".

You cannot see a beer without blurting out "It comes in pints? I'm getting one!"
(YES)

You just can't keep yourself from saying "nobody tosses a Dwarf" at inappropriate moments.
(YES)

A shadow and a threat is growing in your mind.
(occasionally)

You now referring to your friends as your 'Fellowship' and insist that you have epic adventures.

You stand in the doorway and tell your sibling that he 'Can not pass'.
(YES)

You wash your face in the sink and expect to see things that are, that have been or that will be.
(haha, that has come to mind before when i've washed my face)

Your wedding band has started to weigh you down with it's evil powers.

Spending $35 at the grocery store seems expensive but its Perfectly fine to spend $70 on the Hardcover LOTR book with Alan Lee Illustrations.

You start keeping a LOTR Journal to write poems and inklings in.

You face every difficult decision with the thought "now what would Gandalf advise me to do?"

You know what Entmoot, Ent draught, or an Ent is for that matter

You've gained 20 pounds because you've started eating a "Second Breakfast"

A walking stick... you never leave home with out it.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Lord of the Rings.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

. . .

My current song obssession...


You know where to find me
by Matthew West

I saw your sky fall down today
Suddenly turn from blue to gray
'Til one by one the raindrops
Turned to tears upon your face
Wish there was something I could do
Wish I could ease the pain from you
But I've never felt so helpless
It's like you're drowning right in front of me
And I'm reaching out but you can't see
There's something holding on to you so tight
So I guess this is all I'll say to you tonight

If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I will be waiting
Where I've always been
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I have never left you
I'm where I've always been
Right by your side
Right by your side

If the whole wide world is on your back
If the strength you need is the strength you lack
If you're in a crowd but all alone
If you can't stay here but you can't go home
If you can't answer all the whys
'Cause you're too tired to reach that high
I want you to remember

If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I will be waiting
Where I've always been
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I have never left you
I'm where I've always been
Right by your side
Right by your side

If the whole wide world is on your back
If the strength you need is the strength you lack
If you're in a crowd but all alone
If you can't stay here but you can't go home
If you can't answer all the why's
'Cause you're too tired to reach that high
I want you to
I need you to remember

If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I will be waiting
Where I've always been
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I have never left you
I'm where I've always been
Right by your side
Right by your side